Wednesday 16 September 2015

Top 5 Movie Opening Scenes

Ramzee says:

Good opening scenes are always overlooked. I don’t know why, though. Everyone is always talking about the “twist ending” but few give the opening scene the credit it deserves.
Opening scenes get you excited for the rest of the film, it’s the moment when your mind gets taken out of this reality and transported into the world of the movie you’re watching. It’s the appetiser, the overture, the hors d’oeuvre (yes, that’s how you spell it). It’s the first date that sets the tone for the relationship, it’s the CV that gets you called in for an interview and when a filmmaker does it well, it is nothing short of genius.


5. Scream



The master of nightmares, Wes Craven (RIP), starts the chilly scene with a ringing telephone. Drew Barrymore answers and the voice that speaks next instantly makes its mark on pop culture.



4. Mulan



Surprised by this one? Watch this movie again and pay careful attention to this scene. A grappling hook thrown up onto the Great Wall and slowly gets dragged to the edge. A patrolling soldier sees it and follows it. He looks over the edge and a hundred more come up at him as the Huns attack. Lord Of The Rings doesn’t have anything as slick as this. Then the big bad guy, Shan-Yu, steps into the frame and, boom, cool villain moment! Every action movie cliché in the book and you can’t help but love every second of it.



3. Memento



Fuck it, I’ll just say it! Interstellar was a very average sci-fi flick!

Ok, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, if all you Christopher Nolan groupies are done cursing me and have wiped yourselves after masturbating to the Dark knight trilogy, please hear me out.

 Nolan is good, no doubt, but he still hasn’t been able to beat his only real masterpiece, MEMENTO.

There are only 2 kinds of Christopher Nolan fans, those who know that Memento is his best film and those who haven’t seen Memento yet.

The opening scene of this film cannot be described in any way other than genius. The scene is in reverse order. That’s right, it runs backwards and pretty much gives away the ending of the film but is directed so beautifully that Nolan manipulates the audience into trying to solve a mystery where there is none. It’s like that American game show, Jeopardy, where they give you the answer and you have to guess the question. The opening scene of Memento is the answer and the question you have to figure out is “Who is Sammy Jankis” and “Why is it so important to remember him?”



2. X-men



Here’s another one that seems out of place but this one still haunts me and sends chills down my spine every time I watch it on e-tv (They play it a lot).

A little boy is separated from his mother in a Nazi concentration camp and as they drag the screaming child away, you see his power revealed as he bends the steel gates with his mind. That’s when you realise the boy is Magneto and suddenly you have a villain who you identify with as the victim. 
I must also add that I don’t think this scene would have made the list had it not been for the excellent acting of that boy who I have not seen in anything else since.
His name is Brett Morris (thanks IMDB). 



1. Pulp Fiction



Just a normal conversation between two petty criminals in a diner.

Nothing about this scene or the conversation drives the plot in any way. Tarantino simply starts the film like this because it is so unbelievably fucking entertaining to listen to and sets up the characters as average Joes who just happen to be criminals.

They’re just a normal couple with pet names for each other, unique views on life and trying to make it in the big bad world, just like everyone else…until they jumped onto that table, pulled their guns and made Tarantino fans of us all.

“I love you, Pumpkin.”

“I love you, Honey Bunny.”

“Everybody cool, this is a robbery.”

“Any of you fucking pricks move and I’ll execute every motherfucking last one of you!”






The Jillybean says:



5. Matrix



I mean, who could ever forget the 1st time we saw Trinity… The first few minutes you were thinking to yourself, “okay! This chick is quite bad ass”, but then she did that jump-in-the-air-and-pause-in-a-kung-fu-pose thing before kicking that guy all the way across the room. I knew right there and then that this movie was going to be legendary.



4. Godfather





“Now you come to me and you say -- "Don Corleone give me justice." -- But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you uh ask me to do murder, for money. “
Need I say more about this brilliant movie and portrayal by Marlon Brando



3. Bad Boys



“You damn right it’s limited! No cup holder, no backseat, just a shiny dick with two chairs in it. I guess we the balls just dragging the f*ck along.”

From the music to that first shot of the Porsche 911’s wheel rolling at a fast speed and of course, Jerry Bruckheimer’s name appearing on the credits, you know you are in for a hell of a ride. 
The part that really made this opening scene one of my favourites is the constant banter and the back & forth between Martin Lawrence and Will Smith.



2. Dark Knight Rises



Bane: “Or perhaps he’s wondering why someone would shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane”

CIA Agent: “At least you can talk. Who are you?”
Bane: “It doesn’t matter who we are, what matters is our plan. No one cared who I was until I put on the mask.”

Although this opening scene starts with a snippet of Jim Gordon’s speech, it does not really get interesting until we get a glimpse of the masked mercenary. There is no doubt in my mind that Tom Hardy delivered a 10/10 performance as Bane and it was his intensity that made me sit up and  realise that The Dark Knight Rises was not going to be a disappointment.



1. Desparado



“And in walks the biggest Mexican I have ever seen, Big as shit”

Who could ever forget the opening scene to this movie that touched all action movie fans in a very special place.  Steve Buscemi delivers the story of the Grimm Reaper like el mariachi like no one could have possibly done. Although it is action galore and gore everywhere (thank you Quentin Tarantino), this story is quite riveting and it keeps the audience, both in TV land and at the bar, hanging on Steve’s every word. This was a brilliant way to introduce the main character and the villain that is being hunted.
The song that followed simply just sweetened the deal.


That is all.


Special thanks to our guest Jillybean Olwam Magona.

Follow him on twitter  @olwam_

Wednesday 9 September 2015

Girl, celebrated.

Sugar and spice and all things nice, that’s what little girls are made of. They’re also made of frogs and snails and puppy dog tails. Yes, ladies are a lot more complex than just sugar and spice.

Beautiful and sometimes ugly, strong and sometimes weak, soft and sometimes hard, nice and sometimes nasty, Bruce and sometimes Caitlyn. Mothers, daughters, sisters, heroes, villains. We love ladies for all they are and what they represent and today we celebrate the strong female characters in film.

A couple of weeks ago I approached a few Jillybeans and asked them to create an artwork that represents their favourite female character from the movies.

Check out their art below. We would like to share this art with you. All you have to do is leave a comment telling us your favourite female character from the movies and include your twitter handle. We’ll randomly select a few people and send you the original artworks.
I hope you like the art and celebrate your favourite female characters with us.





 Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games)
Artist: K.Kemp








Mulan (Disney's Mulan)
Artist: Denver Petersen







Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)
Artist: Danny W







Mary Poppins (Disney's Mary Poppins)
Artist: Majda







Velma (Scooby Doo)
Artist: Hylton Arendse






Jean Grey (X-men)
Artist: Bramwell Alexander







Beatrix Kiddo (Kill Bill)
Artist: Ramz







 Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)
Artist: Zuby







 Queen Ravenna (Snow White and the huntsman)
Artist: Zuby







Lisbeth Salander (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo)
Artist: Ramz




That is all.






Monday 16 March 2015

Ranting Review Of The Film CHAPPIE





I had high hopes before I went to watch Chappie. Surely Neill Blomkamp, the man who brought us District 9, would make South Africa proud again with another great film. Unfortunately, this was not the case. Two days after watching it, I’m still amazed at how kak Chappie was.
The premise of the film has so much potential that it’s hard to believe that Neill BlomKak got it so incredibly wrong.

In the near future, South Africa employs the use of specialised robots to assist the South African Police. These robocops, known as Scouts, partner up with and protect their human partners very successfully, much like the droids from the series Almost Human. The main reason for using these droids in South Africa is because robots can’t be corrupted like the human cops in South Africa.
Dev Patel plays a robot engineer who writes a programme to give one of these Scouts artificial intelligence. Enter “Die Antwoord”, who kidnap the robot and its maker and train the now self-aware robot to join their gang.

So it’s a combination of RoboCop, Transendence and Almost Human. Interesting, right?  Wrong! It’s as if Neill BlomKak hates the country he was born in.
South Africa is apparently so corrupt that we have to be policed by robots. There is even a scene in the film where the robots are shut down and the entire city of Johannesburg breaks out into a mass riot, destroying the city. Neill BlomKak realises that our country is currently policed by human police officers and we still function as a normal society, right? Did I mention this film is set in the year 2016? That’s right, next year.

The only thing more pathetic than the acting is Chappie’s ridiculous coloured accent. There is absolutely no reason for this machine to have an exaggerated Cape coloured accent and to have it be done by Sharlto Copley is even more ludicrous. Why does he have this accent? There are no other coloureds in the film for him to have learned it from. In fact, the only other brown man in the movie is a Latino from America. That is correct, apparently Neill BlomKak finds it more likely to have an American living in the Soweto ghetto than to have a coloured there and the only coloured role in the movie was a character created in a lab by Dev Patel.

Chappie shows the world a caricatured version of violent Joburg. Nothing like the hard portrayals we’ve seen in films like Tsotsi or Jerusalema. In Chappie, all the gangsters in Soweto are white and the kingpin of downtown Soweto is a huge white man with a black accent. Seriously, Brandon Auret plays the role and he sounds like how I imagine Jacob Zuma sounds when he’s talking dirty to one of his thirty wives.

No one could save this film. Any attempt at an actor trying to save this film was shot in the face by poor directing, poor story development and Die Antwoord. Dev Patel tries to deliver a heartfelt performance but is given so little to work with that it ends up being bad comedy. Hugh Jackman tries to play the villain with conviction but he walks around in that Aussie outback gear with his mullet from the 80’s and you can’t help but wonder why he’s putting himself through this.

Chappie’s robot coloured accent, Brandon Auret’s black accent and Hugh Jackman’s Aussie/Afrikaner clothes and hair are kind of offensive and borderline racist.
Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, let me end this off with a quote from a friend of mine – “The only thing worse than listening to Yolandie Visser’s voice, is staring at her stupid face for two hours.”


That is all.