Top 5 Tearjerkers

Ramzee says: 

Big boys don’t cry.  I trust that all men are in agreement with this.  Just like daddy taught us, it doesn’t matter how many women say they want a “sensitive man in touch with his emotions”, real men do not shed tears in front of other people.  When you feel that Spongebob moment come on, where your eyes well up with tears just before the sprinkler system opens up in your tear ducts, you swallow all that emotion, and with a manly cough, excuse yourself from the room.  It’s a rule…up there with not drinking pink drinks.  And no, you cannot use “there’s something in my eye” anymore.  Also, everybody in the room knows that you don’t have hay fever.

There are times, however, when it is almost acceptable to cry.  By this I mean that the other guys won’t judge you.  It is acceptable only in the case of the death of a close relative or friend, when your team loses or wins the cup and after you’ve watched the list of movies below.  Here is my list of Top 5 tear jerkers.  Watch alone so that your manliness will never be questioned by your wife or girlfriend (they WILL tell all their friends about “that time you cried”)

5. Armageddon

When Bruce Willis cries, it’s ok to cry.

4. Hachiko

The relationship between a man and his pet is sacred and when you see a dog illustrate that unspoken bond, you can’t help but get all choked up.

3. Toy Story 3

Only fans of the first movie will understand why this is on the list.  They build up the emotion amazingly in this film and when it comes to the final scene, you actually feel the loss when you realize that you are hearing Buzz Lightyear say “To infinity and beyond” for the last time.  That Toy Story theme tune just helps grease your tear ducts even more.

2. Up

This movie will make you cry like a little girl.  If you’ve seen it, then you know what I’m talking about.  If you haven’t, then get the tissues ready, Nancy-boy.

1. The Green Mile

This gets me every time I watch it.  Yes, it’s set in a prison but it is possibly one of the most heart-wrenching films I’ve ever seen.  This one doesn’t break you because you witness the death of your favourite character to the back track of a Sarah McLachlan song.  What makes you bawl like a child who just saw Mufasa die, is when you see the prison guards fight back the tears when they have to execute one of their own friends.  Don’t worry, that wasn’t a spoiler, the movie starts with the guy on death row.  You know from the opening scene that he’s getting the chair.  They all stand around this giant with tears in their eyes, about to execute him, when this behemoth of a man tells them “it’s ok” and then asks them to not put the execution bag over his head because he’s afraid of the dark.  Oh… My… God!  I dare you to keep a straight face at that moment.

And those are my top 5 films that should have been sponsored by Twinsaver.

The Jillybean says:

Doesn't take much to get this old girl pissing through her eyes. Here's my top 5 bawler haulers...

5. I am Sam

The part when he’s running with the cake gets me every freakin time!

4. Charlottes Webb

Wilbur finds out that he’ll be eaten for dinner. A major character dies. Peacefully but alone. Need I say more? One of the best children books I’ve read and watched. This is a movie you’d want your little ones to see. Great lessons to be learnt.

3. UP!

Come on all you Lion King lovers…sob your heart out.

2. Love, sex and other drugs

Why did the pretty, quirky, cool chic with the nice boobs have to have the shakes? Just wrong. But when he comes back and stops the bus in a ball hairs timing..OH MY SOUL..I became one big tear drop. PLOP!

 1. My sisters keeper

This movie had me bawling from the beginning to end. It was so emotional, I had to take breaks.